You and I Collide
by LainaLuvLife9
Summary: "Even the best fall down sometimes. Even the wrong words seem to rhyme. Out of the doubt that fills my mind, I somehow find that you and I collide." Eli and Clare collection of One-Shots! Reviews are appreciated, and I will take any one-shot ideas and write 'em ;
1. You and I Collide

She was looking at me, so beautiful with her curly auburn hair and the bluest eyes I've ever seen. Her rogue colored bowtie lips were slightly parted. She was the most magnificent girl, perfect in every flawless thing she does. She stood for a moment, blinking and contemplating my words. Then she walked over to me. It all felt like a dream, except I knew it was real because of my hammering heartbeat threatening to beat right out of my chest.

She grabbed my jacket in her hand and pulled me close to her. She was fierce and vulnerable at the same time, a walking contradiction like usual. I could smell her sweet vanilla-like scent, her breath caressing my face. I could count every eyelash; touch every freckle for a second. She pulled my head down to hers and pressed her lips to mine.

Everything in me was burning. If she wasn't holding me up, I would probably have fallen at this point. But here we were, like it was meant to be. Clare kissing me. It was short, and we both pulled away. I wasn't breathing, and when my breath returned it came out funny.

"Woah." I said, mostly to myself. "Kay…" I began to say something that probably would have come out extremely jumbled, but she interrupted me.

"Shh, hold those thoughts. We'll talk when you get back." She was so beautiful. I just stared for a moment, before saying 'okay' like the idiot I was. I turned away and began walking to my dad's car, feeling like I was sleepwalking. I didn't watch where I was going and I felt like I was ten feet above the ground. I played everything over and over in my mind. I think I was hyperventilating.

I climbed into the front seat and stared at the dashboard blankly.

"Eli?" Bullfrog said, his voice shocked. "Was that Clare? Kissing you?" So I wasn't imagining it after all. I nodded, looking at him and feeling the first smile spread to my face.

"It was." I said breathlessly. And it really was. After all this time I had been waiting for her, loving her but not wanting to, she had been right there possibly thinking the same thoughts. I looked back at Bullfrog.

"Are you… back together or something?" He had a crease in between his eyes like he got whenever he was worried. Or thinking about something. I was hoping this was just the latter. I shrugged, pulling out my phone and beginning to send a text to Adam.

"Eli, you really have to be careful. You're just now getting better and if something goes wrong again…" He trailed off, and I deleted the text I was about to send. I looked back at him, confident of my next words.

"It won't this time. I won't let it."

I had to stop by the newspaper room to grab my backpack. I didn't feel like going anywhere, or doing anything. I really just wanted to sleep, or write, or anything that held a possibility I could relive that moment out in the Frostiville. I kissed him. That familiar giddiness was gurgling in my stomach and I felt almost faint. What did this mean for both of us, when we discussed it again? I wanted us to be back together. All of this time I had been trying to get my mind off of him, when the one thing I needed was to feel for him again. I had been feeling for Eli all of this time. This time it was going to be right.

"You look extremely flushed." Alli said, her voice joking. I turned around and faced her, and the smirk slid off of her face.

"Did something happen?" She asked, her eyes wide. I knew she wanted to hear about the drama. I nodded and bit my lip. Something did happen indeed.

"I kissed Eli." Saying it out loud, it sounded kind of funny. It seemed so out of place, like it was something I would have said months ago. But here I was, talking to my old best friend about my old boyfriend. Nothing felt new, instead it all felt like I was just remembering some forgotten memory.

Her mouth dropped open, but before she could say anything my phone buzzed. Jake was here to pick me up. I decided it was best if I just didn't elaborate to Alli, so I brushed past her towards the front doors of Degrassi.

When I got in the car, Jake looked at me funny. I ignored him like usual, and instead turned up the radio. One of my favorite songs was playing.

"Even the best fall down sometimes, even the wrong words seem to rhyme. Out of the doubt that fills my mind, I somehow find that you and I collide." I sung, smiling to myself.

This break was torture. I usually loved skiing, but Clare hadn't answered any of my messages except for one. My heart was speeding when my phone buzzed after I sent the first. All she had replied with was "we'll talk in person when the break ends."

I couldn't stop thinking about her, about the kiss. My parents both avoided the topic and I never brought it up, although I was sure Bullfrog had told Cece. I wanted to talk to Adam, but I was afraid he would tell me it was a bad idea like always. I was afraid period, afraid that she was having second thoughts because I wasn't there to reassure her. I felt the familiar panic setting in, but I told myself to cool it and went back to dreaming about her instead. I clicked through old pictures on my phone I was suddenly glad I hadn't erased.

There was many from one 'photo shoot' day we had. We were in the park, having a picnic I prepared. The first shot was one of Clare covering her face. She had only managed to shield her eyes from the camera though, so I could still see her sparkling grin. The next one was of both of us, me smiling looking genuinely happy and Clare burying her face in my shoulder. In each one you could see the field of green we were feasting in. There were a couple of blurry shots, one of me kissing her cheek and her blushing, ones where our arms were wrapped around each other. And then there was my favorite. I was resting my fingers underneath her cheek bone, tilting her head up to mine. She was looking up at me with the most breathtaking expression on her face; her lips parted, rosy color in her cheeks, and admiration in her eyes. The next one was of us kissing.

Everywhere I went it reminded me of all of the great times we had together. We made each other laugh until our stomachs ached. We had both cried together. We were inseparable.

And I missed her even more than before.

I couldn't stop flicking through those pictures or thinking about her. I wanted so desperately to lay everything on the line. With time, I grew more and more anxious.

I couldn't wait until next Monday, where we could figure everything out once and for all. I was so damn excited.

Darcy visited us for the break. Although I loved spending time with my sister, I couldn't keep my mind off of Eli. She knew I was distracted too, but she didn't confront me on it until halfway through the break.

"What happened?" She sighed, sitting down next to me at the kitchen table one morning. She looked exhausted, probably from putting on such a show for Mom and Glen. She and Jake did NOT get along, and she didn't like Glen either.

"I don't know what you are talking about." I said, my voice as blank sounding as I could get it. Eli texted me for the five hundredth time, it simply just said 'I miss you.' I smiled to myself.

"New boyfriend or something?" Darcy pushed, trying to glance at my phone. I pushed my phone onto my lap underneath the table where she couldn't see. Darcy never used to talk to me about stuff like this, but I guess this was her attempt to make up for all of the years of acting annoyed with me.

"More like ex-boyfriend that I kissed and now I don't know what to think." Darcy raised her eyebrows and whistled lowly. I had contemplated every scenario that could occur Monday morning. We could greet each other with a kiss like old times. Or we could avoid each other. Or even worse, we could get in a blowout fight because we don't know what else to do.

I really didn't know what to expect.

"Ellie or something? I think that's what mom said his name was." She absentmindedly picked at a hangnail and avoided my eyes.

"Mom told you about him?" My phone clattered to the floor but didn't bother to retrieve it. My mind raced as I tried to think about when mom could have possibly slipped this in to Darcy… certainly not recently…

"Yup, when you were all heartbroken after you dumped him. Ellie is a strange name for a guy." She added the last part almost like an afterthought.

"It's Eli." I snapped, picking up my phone and wiping off the scratched screen. Darcy smirked at me. Now that I think about it, I was really out of it after I left Eli in the hospital like that. Part of me felt guilty, but I was also scared to go back to him. I didn't want to think about that terrible night and the days leading up to it. We were going to focus on the good memories and we were going to move past all of that. Hopefully.

"Well what's confusing about it? From the extremely vague details you gave me, it sounds like you guys might still have something. Why not try it out again? Dumb ass." I glanced down at my phone, to see that my gallery had been opened. Since I had deleted all of my pictures with Jake in a fit of anger, one of the first photos was one of me and Eli so many months ago. My head was on his shoulder and he was taking the picture. His smile was frozen in time.

"I thought your mission trip would make you nicer." I said to Darcy, elbowing her gently. I'm going to see him in a week, was my only thought.

"Jake we need to go!" I yelled up the stairs. I sprinted to the mirror one last time. That one curl kept sticking up. I flattened it frantically and heard Jake's clunky shoes pounding down the stairs.

"We still have ten minutes." He complained when I skidded into the kitchen. I felt giddy about what could possibly happen today and I wanted to get to Degrassi as fast as possible. I ignored his comment and raced out to the car. I get to see Eli! my mind sung.

Jake grumbled the entire way, but I bounced in my seat. I didn't get my daily text from Eli today, but I knew it was because we would talk in person. I had thought about what I would say, rehearsed it even, but I knew it wouldn't come out like I wanted it to. I knew he would say all of the perfect things like always though.

The second Jake stopped the car I opened the door and hopped out. He tried to say something, but I slammed the door in the middle of his first word.

I immediately found him. He was leaning against the side of the school talking to Adam. His arms were crossed across his broad chest. I froze and admired him for a moment. Eli had always been… attractive in my mind, but it wasn't until lately when I realized how hot he really was. His dark too long hair was curling out of his eyes (which gave made me suspicious on how straight it was previously) and I knew once I got closer I would be entirely drawn into his dark emerald eyes. He was grinning with all of his straight teeth right now, when he caught my eye.

I swiftly walked over to him, my heart pounding furiously. Adam simpered when I reached Eli, and then brushed past me as he left. He didn't look too happy besides the obviously fake smirk plastered on his face.

Eli uncrossed his arms and stepped towards me, resting one hand on the small of my back and pulling me towards him. He bent down his head to kiss me.

"Wait! Talk first." I said, turning my head so his lips brushed my earlobe. He made a cute groaning noise and I smiled, trying not to as I bit my lip. I thought about what I was going to say, but my mind was fuzzy. I knew this would happen. He stepped away from me, but stared at me intently.

"Well, I love you, and I never stopped loving you." Eli said straight forwardly after a moment of me not saying anything. I blinked, nodding slowly as his words floated through my mind. Eli loved me. My next words burbled out unexpectedly.

"You hurt me last time. I was scared of you." I knew I needed to say this at some point, but I didn't want to now. I almost said something else like never mind, but he spoke first. As he looked down his eyelashes almost brushed his cheek.

"I'm never going to forgive myself for that –" He was about to go on but I interrupted him.

"I didn't mean to say that. We can talk about it later…" I started, but he wouldn't look at me now. Why do I always screw things up? I have Eli in front of me, who wanted to kiss me before, who told me he loved me, and I was acting like a jerk. The mood had been immediately altered.

"No, we need to talk about everything now. I'm sorry I ever hurt you Clare. I wasn't well then, but I'm getting better. When we were together, I was a mess because I hadn't accepted the fact that I'm sick and that I need help. But the only thing I need to be completely well again is to be forgiven. All I need is for you to give me a second chance." He was so serious and I was and wasn't shocked to find he was close to tears. I knew Eli had issues with his past. I was an ass to bring it up.

"Of course I forgive you." I whispered. Eli sent a weak smile in my direction but leaned against the wall and avoided my eyes. He probably wasn't going to be all sweet towards me again after this. I had officially ruined it, but there was one thing I could still say that might save this. "I love you too." I had no doubt in these words.

This got his attention. He rolled his eyes toward me and his lips turned up in an I-probably-shouldn't-be-smiling-but-I-can't-help-it type of grin. All sadness was erased from his features. I inhaled shakily and he sighed loudly.

"Is that it then? Are we officially just picking up right before all of the bad stuff happened?" I nodded hopefully. He stepped toward me and laced his fingers through mine. I got closer to him and he pressed his forehead against mine. He smelled like apples, something I noticed he'd been obsessed with. He had a little scar on his lip from when Fitz punched him. It seemed like so long ago. This new beginning was everything I needed.

Eli's lips brushed mine for a fraction of a second before pressing against them. He rested one arm on my hip and the other wrapped around my waist. One of mine rested on the back of his neck the other one rested on his shoulder. I was almost positive he could hear my heartbeat, and I could faintly feel his increased one from my hands place on the back of his neck. The little details seemed to overwhelm me. The way he moved his fingers oh so slightly on my hip, each movement sending chills up my spine. The way he pulled back to breathe for a moment, but still kept his top lip touching mine while he took a breath.

Everything was finally perfect.

_**I hope you understood which POV the parts were from. Well I just watched the finale and I got super excited, so I wrote this one shot. Review and lemme know what you think! If anyone has any story ideas for me or just wants to chat about Degrassi (if you're as obsessed as me), then PM me. Thanks!**_

_**~Love you lots, **_

_**Alaina**_


	2. I Will Hold On Hope

I Will Hold On Hope

I hadn't seen him all day. I felt a sinking feeling whenever I scanned the hallways searching for him, because I knew he wasn't here. Whenever he missed days like this he never told me what was going on and he always just used an invalid excuse.

I was going to do something about it today.

Once the last bell ended, I pushed past the crowd of bubbling students. It was a Friday, so everyone was chatting about their weekend plans. I heard my name vaguely, and sighing, I stopped to see Adam staring at me critically.

"Where have you been all day?" He asked, a sloppy grin on his face as usual.

"Searching for Eli, I'm heading to his house to find out where he's been." Adams smile dropped immediately. I hitched my bag further on my shoulder. I felt a lecture coming on.

"Clare… I wouldn't if I were you. You haven't seen this side of him…" I didn't even want to ask what he meant. With even more worry filling me, I turned back around and fast walked to my bike. I heard Adam yell my name again, but I burst through the front doors of Degrassi instead.

"Is Eli here?" Bullfrog had opened the door and was staring at me intently. I normally felt intimidated by parents, but Bullfrog was usually perfectly friendly. But his face was closed off and he looked unusually stressed.

"Yes. He didn't go to school for a reason sweetheart." I recoiled from his sharp tones. I didn't really know what else to say. Part of me just wanted to snap back, 'Well I'm his girlfriend and I have a right to know,' but I refrained.

"Clare?" I heard Eli's voice before I saw him. He emerged from the door and gazed at me while I took in his appearance.

His clothes were rumpled and lopsided, in his usual charade of all black. He had the just got out of bed look. But the thing that frightened me was the way he was looking at me. His eyes were almost glassy, with no hint of emotion except for pure helplessness. I got what was going on immediately.

Bullfrog sighed over-dramatically and threw his hands over his head before stomping off. Eli ignored him.

"I can go…" I suggested, backing down one step and stumbling while doing so. Eli stepped forward though and shook his head. I shouldn't have come, I should have known he was just in a downswing and wanted to stay away.

"You're perfectly fine here. I'm perfectly fine." He said these words sharply. I flinched back, noticing gauze wrapped around his wrist. He was not fine.

"I was just wondering where you were… but we can hang out later its fine." My voice came out high pitched and my words were jumbled. I was somewhat scared, but I had to keep reassuring myself that it was Eli and that he wouldn't hurt me. At least not intentionally.

"I was just here, wallowing in my own self pity like always. Sometimes I wonder just why does any of this even matter anymore?" He smirked cynically. My eyes fell to his wrist again.

"Seriously though, why do I even bother anymore? I'm just the Bipolar emo kid with the screwed up life."

"Eli…" I stepped toward him now. He didn't move, but just stared at me with that cold hatred in his eyes. I gently picked up his wrapped hand and stared at the covered most likely self inflicted injury. The back of my eyes began to feel hot as I felt the inescapable tears beginning to form.

"I thought it might make me feel better. It didn't." His voice stumbled into silence. His harsh tones were gone. He blinked for a moment, looking confused before raising his emerald eyes to mine.

"I'm sorry." He whispered suddenly. An uncomfortable silence fell.

He had never done anything like this before. I had seen him depressed like this of course, because it was something that does happen with bipolar disorder. They are either depressed or in a scene of mania, or in one of the normal periods in between. He had never talked about wanting the end though, and hadn't hurt himself that I've known of.

"It's not your fault." I replied after a moment of searching for the right words. I dropped his hand and instead pulled him closer to me. I nuzzled my head into his shoulder, and he slowly rested his hands the small of my back. He was trembling slightly.

"I hate it. Why can't it just disappear?" He was fighting back tears as well. I don't even know how we ended up here sometimes, but I just know it sucked. Why can't fate just leave us alone?

"Maybe it will. If we don't give up hope." He made a small noise in the back of his throat. I couldn't tell if it was agreement or just plain acknowledgement of my words. I pressed my lips to his cheek but pulled away at the same time. I knew my mom would want me home, and he probably just wanted to be alone.

"Don't leave yet." He recaptured my hand and pulled me toward him. Eli then kissed me, fiercely biting my lips with all of that hatred built up in him. I know he just wants a distraction, but I succumbed to him anyway. We stood, kissing on his front porch. I could feel his tongue skimming my bottom teeth before he moved his lips down to my cheek, and my chin. While he kissed my neck, I spoke through my heavy breathing.

"I should probably get home." I said, but he planted little kisses repeatedly on my lips so I couldn't move. I felt the butterflies stirring in my stomach like always. I really didn't want to leave him, but that might have been because of his amazing kissing skills. I always told myself that, but I knew there was something I more about Eli that I loved.

"Why don't you just stay for a bit? You're the only thing that ever makes me feel better." I looked up into his alluring green eyes and melted. I could never say no to Eli Goldsworthy.

"Okay."

_**How would you like it if I made this a series of one-shots? I got such great feedback from my first, so I decided to make a few. This one took place before "the accident" and I wrote it because I do feel like they must have gone through things like this. I did a bit of research and bipolar disorder does include periods of extreme depression. Sorry for such a downer, I'll try to make the next one more fluffy if you guys want more. By the way, the title (and story) is based off of Mumford and Son's **_**The Cave, **_**which is a great song if you give it a listen. The lyrics from the last were from Howie Day's **_**Collide**_** by the way.**_

_**Hope you enjoyed,**_

_**Alaina **_


	3. Just Forget The World

Just Forget the World

I pelted the pebble; hard enough to make a noise but not hard enough to crack her window. It made a small _plink_ against the glass before dropping directly next to my Vans. I smiled in satisfaction and waited for a moment. When Clare's face didn't appear, I pulled out my phone to see if she happened to reply to my text. She didn't.

I picked up the pebble and threw it once again. This time, a light flickered on. It eliminated her periwinkle curtains and I grinned because knowing Clare she was probably well aggravated and a bit terrified at what was throwing rocks up to her window.

Her face emerged as she pulled back the curtains. I got a glance of her squinted eyes and rumpled curled hair before she spotted me and dropped the sheen of curtain back down with realization on her face. A few moments later, the light flickered off. The window slid open slowly so she wouldn't make any noise. Clare's pale legs dangled over her window ledge, and she peered down at me with a mixed emotions. While she looked the smallest bit scared of the heights below her, she also looked pleasantly surprised to see me. I lifted my hand and waved happily, making her features twist into an adorable scowl.

"What are you doing?" She stage-whispered, her voice hoarse from sleep.

"I want to show you something, come here!" She bit her lip and looked down the side of her house warily. She was still in her pajamas, which consisted of form fitting sweatpants and a loose t-shirt. She was the most graceful thing I had ever seen, even without any makeup on. It never had made a difference to me.

"Eli its midnight!" She complained, her voice not hitting the usual high octave when she was whining so she didn't wake the entire street up.

"Yes, quite early for a Friday night I'd say." I could tell she was relenting, and after a moment she sighed.

"How do I get down?" I pointed out some places she could step, but when she was halfway down there was a wide expanse of brick without any jutting out. At this point she was shaking like she was about to have a seizure. Clare had once mentioned to me her fear of heights, but I for sure believed her now. She stared at me with a deer-trapped-in-headlights expression.

"Here…. Just jump." I suggested. She had followed my instructions without objection before this. But she immediately shook her head and clutched onto the wall behind her.

"I'll catch you, I swear." I could tell she was uncertain, but her fingers slowly peeled themselves off of the brick. She rocked back and forth on her heels for a moment. Then she launched herself down with a muffled shriek.

She flew at me harder then I predicted, and although I did grab her waist we were both knocked into the grass. I groaned as my back hit the ground, and she winced as she landed completely on top of me. We both lay there, panting. I ached from the hit already and I knew I would have bruises from how tight her hands were clenching onto my shoulders. My hands still were around her back and she lay on top of me almost in a straddle position for a minute while we caught our breath. I could feel her racing heart beat that matched mine.

"Mom and Glen are going to kill me." Clare said matter of factly as she rolled off of me to her feet after she regained her senses once again. I could tell she was trying her best to not think of how she was going to get back up to her room. That could be a future issue.

"Yeah, well remember what we said when we talked about trying this again?" I inquired as I stood up next to her.

"I'm pretty sure we didn't say anything about you kidnapping me in the middle of the night and then me getting grounded until college." I rolled my eyes and laced my fingers through hers.

"No, I meant the part where you embrace what it means to be a teenager sometimes. Teenagers get grounded, but they also sneak out, and have fun! And that is exactly what we are going to accomplish tonight." Before she could throw back a snarky comment, I pulled her down the street where I had hidden my surprise.

"Part one of the things I would like to show you tonight does has a bit of a background." I jerked both of us to a stop before continuing. "It signifies all of the new beginnings, and you are going to love it." I couldn't help but grin at what her reaction would most likely be.

"Stay here and I'll be right back." She sputtered for a moment while I left her standing at the curb. Once I was out of sight I sprinted toward the gleaming Harley that seemed so out of place in this neighborhood.

I hopped on and revved the engine a few times, wondering if she was hearing and understanding it yet. I nudged the kick stand and made a quick u-turn, heading back to Clare's spot.

When I pulled up she was just standing, frozen and open mouthed.

"You got a motorcycle?" She squeaked, her eyes gleaming with what she wanted me to think was worry but really was hidden delight. I motioned for her to come closer, barely even to contain my simpering.

"Are you insane? Do you know how dangerous these things are?" Although her words suggested repulsion, she stepped forward and stroked the glossy black paint with her fingertips. I wanted to kiss her at that moment, which wasn't rare occurrence as of lately. With what seemed like forever of not being able to hold her in my arms, I couldn't refrain myself from touching her whenever I could. In my defense though, she held no objections to my needs.

"Haven't we already established that I'm crazy? Hop on." She ignored my jab but bored her clear blue eyes into me for a moment. I gently took both of her hands and placed them on my hips so she had no choice but to swing her leg over. My skin tingled with her touch.

"Are you ready to ride your first ever motorcycle ride?" She scooted forward on the seat to get comfortable and I could feel her chest and torso pressing up against my back. Her arms wrapped themselves around my waist and her head rested on my shoulder. Although Clare didn't respond verbally, I revved the engine and began speeding toward my second surprise.

I could tell she was petrified. Clare didn't speak as we sped through the main highways, but only squeezed my waist tighter whenever my speed increased or I took a sharp turn.

"Where are we going?" She rasped when we pulled up to a stop for a red light. Her breath tickled my cheek, and I turned my head slightly to grin at her. Her cerulean eyes were wider than dinner plates and her hair was blowing around her paler than usual face.

"Secret. Are you scared Clare Edwards?" I mocked. She grimaced at me but the light turned green so I started up again.

After a few minutes, we reached the quieter, only moon lit roads. Clare's grip loosened once she realized we were in safer waters. I weaved through the silent road, the only sound being the growling of the Harley and her frantic breathing. She really needed to calm down. I told her so, but she just began muttering under her breath about something that sounded like 'insane motorcycle-buying boyfriends'. I tittered and turned my head to kiss her flushed cheek.

I skidded to a stop in front of the expanse of trees with the almost hidden path carved in between the nature.

"Eli, are you going to take me into the forest to slit my throat and drink my blood?" Clare asked quite seriously once her breathing had faded back to its usual pace. I shook my head exasperatedly and pushed down the kick stand. After helping Clare onto her (trembling, I must add) feet, we began to walk through the path.

Crickets chirped and we listened to various sounds of wildlife. Every now and then the moon would peer out from the thick tree branches, and illuminate the gentle slope of Clare's nose or her glimmering teeth whenever she flashed me timid smiles. Our hands stayed linked together the entire walk. I marveled over the way her fingers rested perfectly in the spaces between mine.

We paused briefly a couple times so I could press my lips to hers for a moment. Each kiss only lasted for a split second before we continued our journey into the unknown. Well, I knew, but she certainly didn't.

It wasn't long before the path opened and the moon was let out in its full glory. I abstained from commenting, instead just deciding on letting her absorb this places beauty.

It was a stage. An old abandoned one, no doubt, but an outdoor stage. It was made from smooth glittering marble that was cracked and chipping away in worn places. The marble made the flooring, but also curved upwards to make the 'ceiling' area where the red curtains would have hung. Tree stumps served for the seats in the auditorium. It was huge, the size of Degrassi's own stage times two. It was bizarre and unique, or in other words, utterly perfect.

I had first found it when Bullfrog and I were practicing with my new motorcycle just last night. That was kind of where this whole kidnap Clare on motorcycle to see stage thing popped into my mind. I thought it would make sense since Clare and I did share a love of theatre. I loved acting and directing, and she liked the behind the scenes business.

I looked at Clare to see her reaction. It was everything she had expressed when she saw the motorcycle, but without the anxiety. Her cherry red lips had dropped open into an 'o' and she stood completely frozen with her hand still intertwined with mine.

"Come on!" I tugged a still astounded Clare up to the stage once I finished admiring her response.

She stumbled after me in a daze. I put my hands under her arms and hoisted her up to the raised platform. She clambered up, with me right behind her. Once we reached the top she spun in a circle, cherishing her surroundings. She reminded me of a child in a candy store right then.

"How did you find this?" Before I could reply, she continued with excitement jumbling her words together. "It's amazing! And gorgeous. And random. AND AMAZING!" She yelled the repeated adjective, her voice echoing around the empty premises.

"It doesn't matter where I found it, because I did and it's all ours." I smirked at her before pulling her into my arms. She beamed up at me beautifully. I leaned down and pecked her mouth quickly. She looked bewildered when I didn't deepen the kiss like usual. Her fingers tangled into my hair and pulled me so our foreheads were touching.

"What was that?" Clare mumbled when I began swaying her from side to side. "And what is this?"

"Have you never danced before, Ms. Edwards?" She pursed her lips back at me and blinked for a moment. I couldn't help but stare at the way her eyelashes caught the moonlight.

"Not without music!" She broke away from me for a moment, pulling my phone out of my jacket pocket. She tapered with it for a moment before melodic harmonies began to fill the otherwise empty air. I didn't recognize the song, but Clare wrapped her arms around my neck again and began dancing with me.

I don't think I had ever felt so in love. I had never shared anything like this with Julia before, and even then I didn't think I was ever going to love again after her death. But then Clare came along. And she did leave for a while, but now we were back and everything was finally going to be okay.

"What's this song called?" I asked halfway through. I usually didn't like non-screamo or non-rock songs, but this one was not half bad. It was catchy.

"Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol." She murmured, letting her nose brush mine. This time I let her kiss me; both of us not stopping our dance as our lips moved deliberately against each others. I didn't let any space come between us. And then finally, I knew I had finally succeeded on persuading Clare to just forget the world.

_**I like this one. Tell me what yall think! This was obviously based off of Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol, like Clare oh-so graciously mentioned. Thank you for all of the favorites, subscriptions, and reviews! It makes me smile whenever I get an email alerting me. More reviews would be appreciated. **_

_**~Lots of love,**_

_**Alaina **_


	4. I'm Not A Perfect Person

I'm Not A Perfect Person

What was supposed to be, as Eli put it, "the most freaking awesome day ever", started out wrong and went downhill from there.

The entire drama department was taking a field trip to Canada's Wonderland. I would have rather gone somewhere a bit… saner, but we not roller-coaster loving people were unfortunately outvoted. We were going to meet at eight in the morning (on a Saturday, I must add so you understand my frustration) at the school to take a bus all one and a half hours to the amusement park. I guess I wasn't _completely_ dreading it, since it would be spending an entire day with Eli nevertheless.

But yet again, being with Eli wasn't as easy as it used to be.

I was awakened by my mother's frantic yells and shakes. I moaned and rolled over, glaring up at the too-bright florescent lights of my room. My mom's dark brown eyes were an inch away from my face. I shrieked and threw myself back against my bed's headboard. I hit my head.

"Mom! What?" I said irritably, rubbing the sore spot on my scalp. I hadn't been in good terms with her lately as it is. The divorce was just finalized, and I had stopped blaming everyone but my parents. It was their decision anyway. It didn't register in my mind why she was waking me up so early in the first place.

"It's five minutes past eight!" I gasped out loud and launched myself from my bed. A quick glance at my clock told me that it was indeed, past the time I was supposed to be at the school so the drama department could leave. I realized that last night I had completely fallen asleep and forgotten to set my alarm. I raced around my room; throwing my clothes over my head, swiping my eyes with makeup, brushing my teeth, and packing my bag all as fast as possible. The entire time my phone was ringing, and on the last ring I picked up.

"Hello?" I said breathlessly as I grabbed a granola bar and rushed to my mother's car.

"Um, Clare? Where are you?" Eli's voice said uncertainly from the other end. I sighed as my mom stepped on the gas, speeding toward Degrassi.

"I'm coming, be there in a few. Overslept." I knew I sounded snappy, but my mom had just sent me a "why must you do this to me" type of look. I hated when she acted all exasperatedly towards me, like everything that went wrong in this world was my fault. She was the one who decided to ruin my entire life, her and dad that is.

"Okay." Eli's voice sounded small. I muttered something about seeing him in a minute before hanging up. The rest of the ride was spent in a tense silence of conversation, but Warning Sign by Coldplay was playing quietly like background music to my thoughts.

I leaped out of the car at Degrassi, murmuring half hearted replies to my mother's usual warnings of be careful and stay with a friend types of things. Then I sprinted toward the bus, where our teacher was waiting with a checklist. I heard a cheer from inside the vehicle as the students realized that our crew could finally leave, and I vaguely hoped that Eli and Adam had saved me a seat. After checking in I stepped inside the full and blaringly loud bus. A hand with black nails flew up in the back, and I clumsily maneuvered my way toward Eli.

I plopped down next to him and peered at Adam briefly, sighing loudly as I did so.

"Well don't say hi." Adam scoffed, Eli chuckling lightly, and I huffed. My true exhaustion began to set over me now that I was still. I laid my head on Eli's shoulder and curled my legs under me. He smelled oddly like chocolate, and I nestled myself into him comfortably.

"Forgot to set your alarm, I'm guessing?" My head vibrated when he talked. I closed my eyes at his sardonic voice.

"Yeah." I mumbled. Eli didn't even try to talk to me after that, which was smart since I wasn't in the mood to talk. I think I heard Adam try to say something to me, but I was already half gone. After a nap, I think I would feel so much more refreshed and pumped about the day like I should be. As I drifted off; I kind of felt like something was not right, like there was something I was forgetting…

Eli shook me awake when we arrived. I yawned and stepped off the bus, grabbing Eli's hand as I did. Adam and he were engaged in an intense whispered conversation that I wasn't part of, but I was zoning out everything anyway.

We all designated a meeting place and time for lunch after we got our tickets and entered the huge, already insanely crowded park. Believe or not, but a lot of kids were in some way involved in theatre. A majority had just taken theatre as a class because it's required to take a Fine Art course, but many had fallen in love with the program anyway. Anyone who had been a part of theatre at any point in their life at Degrassi had been invited, whether they were actors or techs like me. I loved the backstage aspect, but Eli was the total actor. He also had a talent with directing, and he was most definitely our teacher's and drama department's favorite.

Eli now was completely silent, which was strange because he was always making some sarcastic remark or whispering ideas of what we were going to do first. It sometimes seemed like he had ADHD as well as Bipolar.

The group split with a loud chorus of yells with excitement after our director finished speaking and allowed us to go our own ways. I turned to Eli and Adam.

"What's first?" I quickly noticed I was only talking to Adam. Looking around, I spotted the back of Eli's head speaking to Fiona and Imogen a few feet away. I shook my head at his quick departure before focusing back on a very concerned looking Adam.

"I think we decided on Behemoth." The Behemoth was probably the most intense ride at the park. I grinned, because of course they wanted to go on that one first. There was no way that I would ever, not for a thousand dollars, go on that roller coaster. Adam added on immediately, "But Clare – " but Alli cut into the conversation, cutting off whatever Adam was going to say.

"I think you and me are on our own sister. Want to hit KidZville?" Adam glared at Alli in annoyance before gravitating toward Eli again. They had never been friends. Alli and I had spoken about going on the childish rides earlier this week, since we both preferred not to go on all of the hardcore rides the second we got there. Before I could reply, she interrupted, obviously feeling extremely controlling today.

"I understand if you want to hang out with Eli today though. Totally." I shrugged. I knew Eli would want to go on the scream-until-your-hoarse type of rides. That wasn't really me though.

"No, that sounds perfect. I'll be right back." I wandered over to Eli, who still had his back to me and was still conversing with Fiona and Imogen. They fell silent when I came up to Eli. He blinked his gorgeous emerald eyes down at me. Was it just me or did he look a little put off?

Fiona looked perfect as usual, with her hair done up in braids with curls hanging down and her casual outfit flaunting her looks. Imogen looked like Imogen, but with a tank top and short-shorts instead of her normal tutus and neon tops. They both were giving me icy looks, which I didn't really comprehend. They were probably just agitated I was breaking Eli away from them, even if it was for only a moment.

"I'm going to go to KidZville with Alli, want to meet here in like an hour and a half? You could take me on a few of your scary rides before we head to lunch." I suggested, lacing my fingers through his. My mind had been wiped of my earlier frustrations, and I beamed up at my boyfriend happily. I was animated again, like I had been in everyday leading up to this. I was excited to bury my head in his shoulder when I was terrified of whatever horrors he had in store for me.

"Sure." He replied, pulling his hands from mine and walking away with Adam, Fiona, and Imogen. I frowned. I attempted to convince myself that he was just in another downswing.

I turned back to Alli and we began walking toward the kid's area, where maybe we could find a few rides that might be fun yet safe. It was already a hot day, and I could feel the sun beating down on my only tank top clad back. Alli was already talking my ear off, so I just added in a few nods and "yeah's" to keep her going. Honestly, I didn't even know the conversation topic.

We waited in line for some swing-like ride while Alli (naturally) got on the topic of Eli.

"You two are really cute." She commented, making me smile. A lot of people said that, since many of them didn't see the rocky parts of our relationship. There weren't many moments, but we both made mistakes. A little bit more frequently than other couples, if I'm not mistaken.

"So what are you going to do tonight? He's so lucky it's on a Saturday." She exhaled nosily. My eyebrows furrowed together. What did she mean by what we were going to do tonight? I mean, we usually did hang out on weekends but we hadn't made plans for today specifically. And why was Eli lucky that today was a Saturday? I was glad this trip was on a weekend too, but I don't think that's what she was talking about…

"Clare? You did make plans, right?" I stared at the ground blankly for a moment.

"What's today?" I looked into Alli's over made up eyes, which we right now raised in an "oh no you did not" type of look. My heart stopped its rhythm and a horrible pit landed in my stomach.

"March seventeenth, Eli's birthday?" My hand flew up to my now open mouth. I had forgotten. I don't know how, since it had been on my calendar and I had reminded myself over and over to go get him a present and to plan something. I guess since I found out about the divorce I had completely and utterly forgotten everything else that was important in my mind.

"You forgot, oh my gosh…" Alli's eyes gleamed in what she probably hoped was apparent horror, but I knew she was amused at the same time. Alli loved drama, so I wasn't surprised when she decided to take theatre. But theatre was only a substitute for when the real drama wasn't present. I blinked rapidly. I was so shocked at myself. No wonder he had been acting strange and no wonder Adam was so desperately trying to remind me.

"I'm such a terrible person. Alli, what am I going to do? Please tell me you have an idea!" She shook her head and I bit my lip 'till I tasted the blood on my tongue.

The rest of the ride's wait we spent in silence while I marveled in ways I could try to fix this. By the time the ride was over (the five year olds were screaming, we were not) I couldn't think of any way I could make up for forgetting my own boyfriends birthday.

An hour and a half later, Alli and I had ridden as many rides as we could due to the long lines. Even though she desperately tried to get my mind off of my most recent flaw, I was still plagued with worry on how I could possibly make it up to Eli.

When we met up with everyone, the tension was extremely obvious. Eli and I were silent while the rest babbled about how exhilarating the few coasters they went on were. They decided to head to something called the Wild Beast, Alli included.

"You coming Eli?" Adam asked, nudging him out of his trance.

"Actually, I wanted to show you something." I said before Eli could reply. He raked his eyes over me emotionlessly before saying goodbye to the others, who looked over their shoulders anxiously at us before departing. He shoved his hands into his pockets before squinting at me.

"What?" I didn't blame him for sounding so aggravated. I would be too.

"Happy Birthday!" I said lamely, giving him a hopeful smile. But Eli only gave me a look of disgust, though I knew I deserved it.

"Oh, so she remembered!" His voice was filled with hateful sarcasm. "Or not. So what, did you have a moment of revelation? Or did something remind you, like perhaps a friend, or God forbid a freaking reminder set on your phone." I avoided his eyes, feeling that pit grow in my stomach.

"How could you just forget? We had been talking about this all week! Do you remember how we decided that after the entire drama department was going to go to my favorite restaurant to celebrate? Does Adam, you, and I having a movie marathon even ring a bell Clare?" He shook his head at me and brushed a strand of hair out of his flushed face.

"I don't know how I forgot, I think it's just because of the divorce being finalized – "

"You can't blame everything on your parents! You know, I've made a lot of mistakes Clare. But you make a lot of them too. This is solid proof. If I was in your shoes you would NEVER forgive me."

"Eli – " I knew this was true, that I would be mad beyond any point of obligation.

"Just forget it. That shouldn't be hard for you." He stalked off, leaving me standing with tears in my eyes. I didn't move for a moment. Then after trying to blink back the tears, I gazed around before I found a half-hidden empty bench. I scampered out of broad daylight so I could breathe for a moment and figure out how I could possibly fix this.

After sitting (and hyperventilating) for what felt like a second, another figure approached me. I couldn't tell who it was because of the blinding sunlight, but when she sat I recognized Fiona's perfect corkscrew curls. I briefly wondered why she had ditched the others for the ride just to talk to me.

"At least you know he's not going to dump you over this." I sniffled and swiped a finger in my eyes because they still weren't entirely dry.

"How do you know that? I would be pretty pissed if I were him too." Part of me wanted to pull out my phone and call my mother to pick me up, but I knew it wouldn't help my situation and my parents would want to know every single detail. Then they would criticize me and force me to help pack my dad's belongings so he could move out. I gulped and pushed those thoughts away, focusing on the conversation again.

"He is pretty upset, but he wouldn't dare risk losing you over something like this." I frowned at her Gucci kitten heels before meeting Fiona's not-surprisingly gorgeous blue gray eyes.

"What do you mean?" I asked uncertainly.

"Clare, he loves you! Duh." She grinned, a straight teethed contagious smile. I felt my cheeks grow hot as she giggled.

"But seriously." Fiona dropped her school-girl crush attitude in a split second. I dropped my simper as well. "You have a lot of kissing up to do before he forgives you. He's an actor, so he's going to be dramatic about it."

"I wouldn't expect anything less." I muttered, and she glanced into my eyes before batting her thin eyelashes in irritation and continuing.

"Anyway, I have a plan." I blinked into the sun before looking back at her satisfied smirk.

"Eli is obsessed with some band called Slipknot, right?" She wrinkled her nose, probably thinking of the types of music that Eli listened to. I didn't personally like it either, but I had learned to respect it once Eli had sat me down and forced me to listen to some of the not so intense songs. Shockingly, some of the lyrics did have real meaning behind all the screaming.

I nodded.

"Well, what would you say if I told you that Corey Taylor was in the park right now?" My mouth dropped open. I had spent enough time with Eli to know that Corey Taylor was the lead singer of Slipknot.

"Do you think –"

"That we could get him to sing happy birthday to Eli! I think yes." We both jumped to our feet simultaneously. I uncharacteristically squealed along with a very ramped up Fiona.

"Wait." She paused in her jumping, raising her waxed eyebrows at interruption. "Why are you helping me?" Fiona inhaled deeply, narrowing her eyes in an 'I'm thinking' face. I bit my nail nervously, but then pulled it away from my mouth. I really needed to break that habit. Fiona finally replied after what seemed like an eternity.

"Because you're the reason that Eli is getting finally better. And I'm his friend." She smiled genuinely and I couldn't help but smile back.

About an hour later, an immensely large crowd had formed around the platform Imogen had found. Eli stood in the middle, that small crease in between his eyes appearing like it did when he was confused. The clump of people (many being from Degrassi in awe that one of our own was about to be serenaded by a celebrity) let out a chorus of cheers and chants when Corey Taylor appeared behind Eli.

"If I am correct, today is this young man's special day." He said into a microphone. His voice was raspy from all of the screaming he usually did. Eli spun around and stumbled backwards in bewilderment. I could see his widened eyes from where I was standing buried in the crowd.

"So let's all sing him a happy birthday, yeah?" The crowd screamed again and Corey Taylor led everyone in singing the typical happy birthday song, but extremely off key. I sung along loud and proud, my arms around Fiona as we both marveled at Eli's excitement. He was practically beaming, but in the way Eli did where his eyes lit up but that smirk remained plastered on his face. His gaze somehow found mine and he gave me a soft forgiving smile.

After the crowd dissipated Eli still remained talking to Corey Taylor. All the rest of the Degrassi kids had headed off to lunch, besides me obviously.

I stood at a distance, watching as Corey Taylor signed Eli's phone case before giving him a pat on the shoulder and departing. Eli watched him go with admiration before turning to me. I gave him a hopeful expression and he walked toward me with a fast pace.

"Clare Edwards your amazing." He said, stopping right in front of me.

"Yeah, real amazing." I replied scornfully. "Eli, I am so sorry. I feel like such a terrible girlfriend and I don't expect you to forgive me-"

"Well then you're going to be disappointed. That made up for it wholeheartedly." I felt the corners of my mouth turning up. He rested his hands on the small of my back and I tilted my chin up to him. When his lips pressed against mine I felt that familiar giddiness bubble in my stomach. My hands moved from his waist to his neck. Maybe not so much had changed after all.

His tongue brushed my bottom lip and caressed my teeth. It wasn't until someone yelled 'Get a room!' did I remember that we were in the middle of a theme park with people all around.

Adam approached us, and although we sheepishly pulled our lips apart Eli's hands remained wrapped around my torso and my arms around his neck. Adam laughed at our expressions before speaking again.

"Are you going to eat or not? I got two burgers with your names on it." We all chuckled together before heading toward the bench I found earlier, Eli and my hands intertwined.

The rest of the day was a blur.

Eli dragged me on a few rides, but the stand out scariest one had to be something called the Windseeker. It was a double seated ride, and it raised you in the air as slow as possible before swinging you so fast that you felt like your face was going to be ripped off. I buried my head in his shoulder and shrieked the entire time while he laughed manically.

We left the park just as the sun was setting, and took the bus to Little Miss Steaks where we all ate until we couldn't anymore. The waiting staff brought out a giant cake and we all sung to a red faced Eli. The cake was chocolate, his favorite.

Once we got to the school, a janitor let all of us in. The theatre kids ran around the school wildly; whooping, singing, and skipping down the halls. Eli and I found our corner in between our lockers that we would meet in during passing periods for classes. His lips found mine in the darkness of the hidden spot and we kissed enthusiastically, finally not interrupted.

After everyone was picked up by their parents, Eli, Adam, and I walked to Adam's house to have the movie marathon we planned. I had my mom bring over the gift I had apparently bought for Eli and forgotten about. I remembered now though, it was a book of certain song lyrics from multiple of Eli's favorite bands and a CD of the actual songs as well. I told him not to open it until later.

We watched all of the Final Destination movies, Eli and Adam commenting on all of the gory scenes casually and me squealing in disgust yet fascination. As the late hours of the night went on, Eli and I had to call our parents and let them know that this was going to be a sleepover instead of just a late night marathon.

I expected my parents to freak out (me in a sleepover with two guys, you would think they would both be concerned) but their voices were filled with an odd relief. I tried my best to forget about it and celebrate with Eli.

After the last movie, we just put on the television. Adam fell asleep within seconds, but Eli and I stayed awake.

"I think this was probably my best birthday ever." Eli commented lightly. I was lying comfortably on his chest, my head nestled in the crook of his neck and my legs splayed over him. His hands rested casually over me. We were under a blanket because Adam's basement was freezing.

"You think so? Even with my screw up?" I said, glancing up at his face illuminated in the flickering light of the TV.

"We're not perfect. Your close, but not there yet." He teased. I nodded in agreement and closed my eyes. I was exhausted, and it was like three in the morning.

"I love you." His voice half woke me from my near sleep. I hmm'ed in bliss before responding, my voice muffled into his shirt. His fingers caressed the curves of my sides, making me feel even drowsier.

"I love you too."

_**Don't get me wrong, I love Clare and all but the morale of this whole thing was that she isn't perfect either. Eli did wrong and so did she! I love all of your reviews, so thanks for that and for all of the favorites! It really makes me smile I would like to see more constructive criticism though, I want to know how yall think I could improve. If any of yall have ideas for others, you can PM me or just leave a review letting me know! By the way, this chapters title was based off of some of the lyrics from the song The Reason by Hoobastank.**_

_**~Love you lots,**_

_**Alaina**_


	5. Fix You

Fix You

_**Before your read, keep in mind that this is based off of the episode guides that have been released. In one of the episodes Clare is said to be sexually harassed by someone named Asher, so this is my take and ideas on it. Not too much Eclare in the episode descriptions, I'm afraid There will be plenty of it in this though! Eli's POV by the way. **_

I wasn't sure where we stood anymore. I mean, of course I still cared for her. It just didn't add up, her sudden interest again. I wasn't sure if I could withstand another heartbreak from her, and so I did exactly what I didn't want to do.

I pushed myself away.

I focused everything I had in theatre, my studies, and my other friendships. It was painful, especially when she would give me that longing look like she did. I just couldn't risk it anymore.

So when Clare did call around noon on a Saturday morning, I was both affronted since I had already explained my reasoning's for separating myself and curious. I answered after a couple rings because it had taken a moment for it to sink in that she was calling me for some unfathomable reason.

"Hello?" I said when she didn't speak first.

"Eli?" I froze in my path across the room when I heard her voice that was unmistakably hoarse from crying.

"What's wrong?" I replied immediately, my heart racing on its own accord. I could hear her heavy breathing that sound exactly like she was hyperventilating. Scenarios flew threw my head; she could be hurt stranded somewhere, or she had just found out some life changing news. I couldn't stand to hear the tears in her voice.

"Can you come get me? I can explain then." Clare's voice broke on the last word and I could tell that she was definitely crying. I wanted her to explain, because already the questions were eating me inside out.

"Where are you?" I knew she would explain eventually and I kept telling myself this, but I could still feel the panic arising in me. _She's safe. She's breathing. _I reminded myself, but with no real relief. I gripped the edge of my desk, waiting for her response and holding my breath.

"I'm in a hotel. I'm not sure which one." Her voice was choked. I desperately racked my mind, trying to think of hotels that were close to us. I knew there were a lot in the more city area, but I didn't know the names or exactly where they were.

"Look around the nightstand if you're in a room. They usually have their logo on a menu or something." I listened to the rustling as Clare searched.

"It's a Marriott." I knew the way to the closest Marriott, and I retraced the way in my head before deciding how long it would take me. I was going to have to hurry and convince Bullfrog to let me borrow his car. I could tell that she was petrified by the way she spoke to me.

"I'll be there in twenty minutes tops." I finally decided.

Fifteen minutes later, after arguing with Bullfrog, eventually winning, and driving a tad bit faster than the speed limit, I pulled up in front of the hotel. I instantly spotted Clare, even though if I hadn't been looking for her I probably wouldn't have thought it was even her in the first place.

Her curls were disarrayed and stuck up in random angles. I had only ever seen her hair like that when she would just wake up, but usually every hair was brushed to perfection. Her tank top and mini skirt were sloppily thrown on. I noticed that it wasn't clothes she would usually wear, not ones that revealing. Once she stepped closer to the car I could see that mascara stained her cheeks and the dark circles under her eyes. She walked with a slight limp.

The second she sat down and closed the door, she fell apart. I watched helplessly as she began to bawl horribly. I could only watch before I realized that this was real, and that I needed to do something.

I scooted over to try to see if I could comfort her from my own seat. It was uncomfortable and impossible, so I just broke all of the promises I made to myself and hopped into her seat. She melted into my arms and buried her head in my chest. Her sobs racked through her, shaking her shoulders and distorting her features.

I forgot about everything. It didn't matter that we had broken each other's hearts in some way or another. It didn't matter that she had left me in the hospital room. It didn't matter that I had terrified her with my acts of insanity. She needed me and I was here.

Once her cries subsided into whimpers and quickened breathing, she peeked up at me through her wet eyelashes. I took my thumb and pressed it to her cheek, wiping away the tears and mascara residue.

I didn't even ask, but she explained.

"We were at some party he invited me to. I was so excited I didn't even think that he was just using me." The tears collected in the corner of her eyes again, making them glassy. "He gave me a few drinks but I wasn't completely drunk. And then he kept forcing me to dance and kiss him." Clare's voice kept breaking and I listened. My mind was strangely blank. "Then when I actually refused him, he grabbed me and dragged me from the house and into his car." She subconsciously massaged the inside of her wrist, and I examined the growing bruise. "He tied a sweatshirt around my mouth so I couldn't scream and dragged me into the hotel room."

She paused. I didn't need her to continue but she finished her story anyway.

"He raped me." That's when I felt the anger. It was suffocating, clawing my thoughts and leaving them irrational. It flowed through my veins and skyrocketed my pulse. It felt like heat was clinging to me, like I couldn't get away from it. I could picture it perfectly, beautiful innocent Clare being taken advantage of. It was bound to have happened at some point, but even the thought made me incredibly furious. But then I took a deep breath and attempted to swallow it all. She didn't need me to be angry, she needed be to be here.

Neither of us spoke while she calmed herself. I broke the silence hastily.

"Who was it?" She crossed her arms over her chest, taking a shaky breath. I could tell she was reluctant to tell me just this one detail, but as much as I wanted to I couldn't do anything to him.

"Asher." Clare mumbled. I could picture his face, but I didn't know him all too well. I erased my growing fury and instead focused on Clare. She had a red mark growing into a bruise on her cheek, dried blood on her lip, black and blue wrists, and a limp.

"We're going to go back to my house and clean you up, okay? And then I'm taking you to the police station." She nodded and leaned her head against the window. After climbing back into the driver's seat, I started up Bullfrog's car, wishing for the thousandth time that it was Morty's engine being revved. I started what was sure to be the most immense ride home, glancing at Clare curled up in the passenger seat. Her eyes were squeezed shut and I recognized the expression and posture of someone who was trying their best not to think. I had definitely been there before.

"Music helps me." Clare's cerulean eyes shot open, gazing over at me.

"What?" She crinkled her nose like she did when she was confused, and even the little familiar motion sent a pang through me. However, I pushed out the unwanted emotion like I had taught myself to do, so it disappeared just as quickly as it had come.

"Listening to music always helped me forget about things. Well, if you play it loud and listen to it close enough that is." She contemplated this for a moment, staring at the dashboard before flicking her swollen eyes back to me.

"Can you put some on?"

"What station do you want?" Clare had never had an avid taste of music, but I knew she absolutely hated what I listened to. She described it as 'too intense for me' one night when I had asked about her agitation.

"Whatever you like." I raised my eyebrows at her in a moment of surprise, before abiding to her and switching on my favorite station. She leaned back into the window frame and closed her eyes again. I sang along quietly. A few songs later, I noticed her breathing was even and her squinted shut eyes were relaxed.

In about twenty minutes, Clare hadn't moved but I had pulled into my driveway. I saw Bullfrog peek his head through the curtain, grinning when he saw that his car was unscathed.

I looked at Clare's sleeping form. She looked so much more peaceful then she did when she was awake.

I leaned over and gently touched her pale shoulder. She slowly blinked her eyes open and sat up. She looked absolutely bewildered for a moment, but then realization dawned on her features. I gave her a weak smile before opening my car door and walking over to her side.

She followed my lead and the second both of her feet were planted firmly on the ground, I wrapped my arms around her. I pulled her close to me and rested my chin on the top of her head. She draped her arms around my neck, nuzzling her face into my neck. I couldn't help the butterflies in my stomach or my increased heartbeat, although I wished I could. It was ridiculous how I could only be around her for a day and still fall into her charms so quickly.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered into one of her curls. When we both pulled away, her eyes were wet.

When we came in the living room, I noticed that Bullfrog and Cece had deserted the downstairs. They probably had witnessed the scene out on the driveway and knew that something was wrong, and that it was not involving them. Feeling grateful, I directed Clare to the couch and lumbered into the kitchen.

I ran a cloth under the water and made a few ice packs. I tried my best not to make too much noise, because I knew Clare wouldn't want a huge fuss and would try to reject these offers. It was better to force it on her. She was sitting in the same spot I left her in when I returned. Like I predicted, she shied away from the objects in my hands the second she spotted them.

"It's fine Eli I don't –" She protested, but I shushed her before she could finish her sentence. She relented as I began gently dabbing her bloody (and now swelling) lip. I tried to focus on helping her, but I found the little act extremely sensual. Sometimes my finger would slide off of the cloth and accidentally brush her lip, sending wild electric like feelings through me. The entire time she bored those doe-like eyes into mine. Once the blood was cleaned I pulled back from our close proximity, taking in an uneven breath.

I wordlessly pressed one of the many icepacks to her cheek. She reached up to take it from me, her fingers brushing mine.

I was trying to tell myself to stop, but my heart when into overdrive anyway.

Once she had icepacks in all bruised areas, I examined her hurt ankle. She winced when I slide my finger over the red areas. I'm not a doctor, but it looked sprained. I told her so and she sighed.

"I'm going to grab of Cece's clothes for you to change into, okay? Or if you want to take a shower or something before…" I realized how awkward that sounded, and felt the heat rush to my cheeks. Clare blushed too, shaking her head and telling me that she was just going to change.

A bathroom trip later, Clare was wearing one of my mother's many band t-shirts and a pair of baggy jeans. She had tamed her hair and might have put on a little makeup, but I couldn't tell.

She followed me back out to Bullfrog's car, and I began driving towards the police station. When we pulled up and I parked (after a not uncomfortable silence), she sat in the car and just stared at me. Her eyes were so piercing; I stared back and raised my eyebrows. I was hoping for a response.

"Thanks for doing all of this." She gestured to her new clothes and to the car. I grinned and just shook my head.

"You call and I shall come." Clare gave me a small smile. She brushed a curl behind her ear, her gaze shifting to the doors of the police station. If I didn't know her as well as I did, I wouldn't have recognized the flash of fear in her eyes.

"You can leave if you want. I'm sure they'll let me call my mom from inside so she can take me home."

"Do you want me to go?" She sounded unsure. I knew that she still wasn't happy with either of her parents, and having her mom pick her up from the police station could result in humiliation and a lot of unwanted explaining on Clare's part. I watched as she looked down, her eyelashes fluttering as she contemplated my question.

"No." She admitted, swallowing loudly. That stupid euphoria and satisfaction flooded through me. I tried pushing it away.

"Let's go." I stepped out of the car and guided Clare into the building. Clare was supposed to go in to talk to them by herself since I wasn't a witness, so I sat outside and waited. I knew that she was clearly distressed about reporting the incident, because she had given me one of those longing looks again. It was as if the whole experience would be just that much more bearable if I was there.

I knew the second I would drop her off at home that it would be over. This Asher person would be fired and she would go on with her life, leaving me wondering who else she would have called if I didn't pick up my phone first.

"Thank you." Clare's voice came from the opening door. Her eyes were red but she smiled at the officer that was escorting her out. I followed Clare out and watched as the cop patted her back before returning inside. Clare crossed her arms over her chest and inhaled loudly. I took a deep breath as well, before taking her hand and leading her back to the car for what seemed like the hundredth time that day.

During the next few weeks, like I predicted, Clare didn't talk to me more than usual. We exchanged glances in the halls and occasionally would speak about homework from English, but it was like nothing had happened.

Then one day she called me again.

"Eli?" Her voice came through from the other side of the phone. I felt that ominous feeling of déjà vu as I remembered when she had called me previously. Except, this time, her voice was calm.

"Hey, what's up?" I said, trying to keep my voice sounding casual.

"Um, well I went to the doctor yesterday. My ankles just bruised and I didn't get any STD's, so that's good!" She laughed nervously. I missed the sound of her laugh. It sounded so familiar. It was like nothing had changed, when in reality everything had.

"I'm really glad Clare. But, um, why are you calling?" It came out ruder than I thought, and Clare was quiet. I opened my mouth to apologize but she began talking before I could.

"Oh right. Well I'm sorry to bother you and all but I just have to do something really important and I don't think I can do it alone." Once she finished her ramble, she fell into an awkward silence. She was pulling me one way and I was trying to go another, but I eventually just gave up and allowed her to take over.

A few minutes later I was standing at Clare's doorstep. I outstretched my hand to ring the bell but then pulled it back. I still couldn't believe that I was here. Shaking my head and I reached out again but before I could ring the bell, the door opened.

"You came." She breathed, grinning for ear to ear as if I was the best thing she'd ever seen.

"I said I would, didn't I?" I said sarcastically, stepping inside once she motioned for me too. I remembered her house perfectly, but obviously Jake and Glen had added their own accents to it. I didn't feel that same hatred I used to when I thought about Jake. He was just a guy who had fell for Clare for the same reasons I did. I couldn't blame him anymore.

"The doctor asked me if they wanted to perform a pregnancy test there or at home." Clare bit her lip. Her words made my mouth fall open and heat rush to my cheeks. I hadn't really thought about how the rape could get her pregnant.

"I just couldn't do it alone. Just in case it really is…. That." I nodded, blinking uncontrollably.

"Well, I'm here." I couldn't help but frown at her strange request. She gave me a thankful smile before slipping into the bathroom. I leaned against the wall wondering what would happen if Clare really was carrying Asher's child. The thought made me shudder.

The bathroom door opened and I snapped out of my thoughts. Clare emerged from behind the door. Her expression was blank.

"Well? Are you?" I asked, suddenly feeling clammy. I didn't want Clare to have to drop out of school for a baby. She wouldn't be able to write a book like she wanted. She would be completely and utterly broken. And her expression wasn't telling me anything right now.

But then she stepped closer to me and wrapped her arms around my neck and rested her head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her waist, widening my eyes in bewilderment. Was this a yes or a no?

"Thank God." She whispered, as breathing began shaking with what I realized were tears. Relief filled through me, and I couldn't help but feel tears grip my own eyes. Clare would be ruined if she couldn't follow her dreams. She had gotten extremely lucky.

"It sucks." Clare said, pulling away from the hug and wiping her eyes.

"Life?" I asked. She nodded, subconsciously twisting a charm on her bracelet. She looked so fragile in that moment.

"First my virginity gets taken by some creep," she shook her head and anger shown in her eyes. "That one thing I had been waiting for with the right person at the right time was taken from me. I'm so glad he didn't take my first kid too." Tears filled her eyes again and she stared at the floor. I tilted her chin up to me, and her sparkling eyes met mine.

"I was so afraid that everyone would reject me again. I just wanted to feel special." She breathed. I knew right then that she wasn't just talking about that night. Somehow, she was talking about all of her past relationships. With me, K.C, Jake, and even her parents.

"I'm never going to reject you. I'm always going to be right here next to you." As much as I wanted it not to be, I knew that this was true and it always would be.

_**Amazing song this chapter was named after is Fix You by Coldplay. Let me know what you think **_

_**~Lots of Love,**_

_**Alaina**_


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